My Dear Hard Drive

Posts Tagged ‘groups’

When I was 17, I decided nobody would be able to put me into a box based on what I wore. They couldn’t look at me and say “she’s one of us” because I wore the same uniform. When I was past my 20′s, I decided not to believe in a God that people defined for me.

Our differences are the things that define us. Not the things that we share. When you commit a crime, and the police asks the eye witnesses what you looked like, they are not going to start by saying that you were human, had two legs, two arms and a head. That doesn’t define you. What they are going to say are the things that set you a part, things that define you. If we were all the same, we might just as well not excist.

When I read goths, punks and rockers bragging about how different they are, it makes me smile… I find it amusing that they define their difference by copying each other’s style. I don’t look down on them though, people go through stages and even though I don’t wear black as a statement, or stick purple hair extensions to my hair for an effect, I still identify with goths. But then, I identify myself with the dog owner who passes me with their cute spaniel, and a geek who spends sleepless nights finalizing their code, and the artist, who forgets to eat while she creates. I cannot define myself by one group only. I am too complex to be a goth, an artist or a dog owner and leave it at that. Most people are.

Goths look down on “fashion whores”, who buy a certain brand to be accepted. Yet, the goths go and wear certain style to be a part of a group. To identify with a group. There is really no difference between the two, inheridly. Their ideals are different and they value different things, but when a push comes to a shove, will goths be any more open minded than the fashion girls? Will they accept one of those fashion whores into their group without judging them by their look, and without assuming things about them, based on their looks?

The difficoulty with getting identified with a group is that outsiders will instantly label you by the way you look. The difference to the general masses is so big, that they don’t need to look any further. Tell you an example. When I turned 30, I shaved my head. I didn’t do it in purpose of making a statement or anything, I just wanted to see how I would look bald. I got a lot of attention because I was bald, but the attention surprised me. That is where the conversation halted. It never went anywhere beyond my bald head. What also surprise me, that instead of people thinking I looked odd in a bald head, they said I looked exactly like Sinead O’Connor, Skunk Anansie, Demi Moore or who ever bald woman they could think of at the time. Note: I’m white, Skunk Anansie is black. To people, we still looked identical.

Dressing to the main stream forces people to look beoynd what you wear to get to know you. K-Mart fashion is a lot more effective in this than what brand labels or “individualistic” clothing would be. Of course, if you only want to attract the attention of people in your own sub culture, then dressing the part makes sense. However, don’t pat yourself on the back for being somehow better than other people simply because you dress that way and identify with a group outside the main stream. It only gives you another tone of voice, but your work is far from done.