Comments on: Surprising studies about being childfree

By: Sebastyne

Sebastyne — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 04:56:57 +0000

Don't know either, but I have had a conversation with one (I know, just one) woman who was middle aged with grown children and she said she ALWAYS tell everyone, including her own children, not to have children if they can think of living without them. She said without hesitation that she, even though she loved her children, regretted having them. I would guess that the highest regret rate would be with the small children, but I don't know what difference that makes. Kids are kids, and it's those early days that shape them into adults, and if their parents are regretting having them at that age… It cannot but effect the way they interact with them.

By: Sebastyne

Sebastyne — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:56:57 +0000

By: Anne

Anne — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 12:34:46 +0000

I say that kids are a burden to people who don't plan to have kids, although I don't think that way at all. Opinions are quite strong on both sides, as you well know, so it's simpler to just jump onto the other side if you don't want to argue with a stranger

I'm quite sure that the people that regret having children, have small children (younger than 8 years old). But I haven't read the study so I don't know.

By: IdoNOTwantKids

IdoNOTwantKids — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:36:50 +0000

The world's only 100% free CHILDFREE dating site for the select few that do NOT have or want kids:

www.IdoNOTwantKids.com

Child free dating. Instant full membership. No games.

( Just my way of trying to find, and helping others like me, find someone on this planet that does NOT have or want kids. )

By: timethief

timethief — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:23:55 +0000

Between November 2004-July 2006 Laura S. Scott conducted a Childless by Choice Survey. 171 self-selected, voluntarily childless/childfree individuals (single, partnered and married) living in the U.S. and Canada participated in the survey 121 (71%) of the respondents were women and 50 (29%) of the respondents were men.

Participants were asked to rate eighteen statements reflecting frequently cited motivations for remaining childless on a Likert scale from 0-5, to the degree to which they identified with that statement or the degree to which it applied to them in the course of their decision making. A zero rating would indicate that the motive statement was not applicable or that the respondent did not identify at all with that statement. A higher number would indicate the relative degree to which the respondent identified with the statement, a rating of five indicating a very strong identification with the statement or an acknowledgment that it is, or was, a primary motivator in the decision to be childless/childfree.

The respondents rated the following 18 motivation statements and were invited to add their own http://www.childlessbychoiceproject.com/Childle...

My husband and I have been celebrating making the childfree choice for over 30 years now. We frequently make eye contact with one another and fondly say: “I love not having kids with you.”

By: Sebastyne

Sebastyne — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:07:13 +0000

Sorry I was commenting while logged into Facebook, which I didn't intend to do.

By: Riina Rinkineva-Young

Riina Rinkineva-Young — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:00:56 +0000

Well… I'm not from “this country”, which might explain a little of my more positive view. I wouldn't want to raise a kid in USA either… Not necessarily for the reasons you state though… I am Finnish living in Australia, and both countries seem perfectly fine for raising kids. Finland has better support system, but Australia has brilliant schooling, even though Finns are supposedly raising the smartest kids in the world at the moment, but that is if you don't have an artistic bone in your body in my experience. :p

As for stress… I don't know. I know I was stressed out of my brain when I was a kid. I had a good home and I did well at school, I had friends. Despite all that I was a nerve wreck because my self-esteem was non-existent. And for that I cannot blame the world, the other kids did okay.

The trouble with American kids is the crossfire between sexualisation and strict moral values. They probably don't know which way to turn. On the other hand they have peer pressure and on the other hand the parents who try to still fit them into a 50's ideal. How could that possibly not be stressful? In other countries the pressure of being proper vs. sexy is a lot less prominent… And natural. We let our kids grow into it by instinct and not by pressure.

By: KidfreeKaye

KidfreeKaye — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:39:55 +0000

I agree there are many things better in the world today as humans become more civil and less barbaric. But much of the green behavior we do out of necessity as our resources are dwindling, and we realize we need to take care of our earth.

I do think life for children is more complicated and stressful than when I was young. My nieces and nephews are not having the great childhood I had. I also think it would be harder to be a parent today. And, like you said, life in this country had much more hope, change, growth and accomplishment in the 60s than it does now. Now, countries like India and China are going thru that exciting growth phase, while America seems to be aging and waning…

By: Riina Rinkineva-Young

Riina Rinkineva-Young — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:21:41 +0000

Well, I don't necessarily consider this world a bad place for a child, after all, we don't consider cutting open each other's stomachs and winding the intestines around a stick while our kids are watching a proper form of punishment anymore… Mostly we live in peace and harmony amongst each other and heads speared next to a highway is not exactly a common sight like it was some time ago. We don't even dump toxic waste willy nilly into a completely healthy pond anymore. We would even object to a mistreatment of an animal. I think the world is becoming a better place by the day, so that is not my reason for not wanting kids. Over population maybe, but that's it. Would I want to be born today..? If that was my only option, then yes, but I would prefer mid 40's so I'd be a teen for the start of 60's. There was a lot more to be done with the world then. Life had PURPOSE… of a kind.

By: KidfreeKaye

KidfreeKaye — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:17:47 +0000

Yep, “purpose” is one of my biggest conundrums in life. I am very interested in having a purpose here on earth, and fulfilling some kind of purpose in life. (My partner, on the other hand, has no such worries.) I am dedicating an entire chapter in my book to “purpose”, as there may be many CFs who share my concern.

I've always thought that raising well-adjusted children would be a difficult task, but serve a purpose and perhaps even be a gift to society. But there are many other ways to do good on earth besides procreating, and I've learned thru the years that adding kids to this world (the way it's going) might be doing them an injustice. I wouldn't want to be born today, would you? In fact, that's the subject of the chapter I am writing now, which I better get back to…

P.S. You may have already taken my survey, as it's been out for two years and has over 2,900 respondents. However, I do have a new survey called the “Childfree Dating Survey”, which you may want to take…