Ok, sorry I use the word midget. I don’t mean that in an offensive manner, but I think calling them “little people” would be an insult coming from me, as I use the frase of mentally little people, which I don’t think midgets automaticly are. But this is not my point. Today this man came in the buss. I’ve seen him before, but this morning I thought to myself that I’ve seen only 4 midgets in my life. That’s the same amount than of the men I’ve loved. What is the ratio between midgets and normaly grown people? 1 to… what? I have no clue. I just thought, that knowing this would help me a little… I would know how many men of 100 is such that I might fall in love with. Of course you might think that when you see a midget you instantly know he’s (or she’s) different, but you can’t tell that when you see a man you could love. I don’t think that is true, unfortunately. All the men I’ve truely loved are such I knew the moment I laid my eyes on them that they were different.
I’ve got really intelligent friends. They have seen the world, and they have an opinion about it, and they are always right. The funny thing is, that there is as many opinions as there are of us. Mainly we agree on a lot of things like We Are Perfect and the others are shit, more or less. We see the world through eyes of concorers and world owners… But then among ourselves we have slight differences in opinion about how the world is running. Some of us are atheists. Some of us believe in reincarnation. None of us believes that Jesus was the Son of God, we believe he was more or less like us, and managed to confuse a lot of simple uneducated people, maybe knowingly, maybe unintentionally. Then we have our standards of valuing others. One of us believes we should “live up to our potential” before one can be fully appriciated. One of us believe one must be true to oneselves wishes before can be fully appriciated. One of us thinks that intellect is the only thing that counts when it comes to appriciation. We keep on comparing ourselves to the others thinking if I’m above or below this other person, on the scale of mental development. And of course we all come into the same conclution. “I’m right, they’re wrong.”
The question remains, WHO IS RIGHT? Is there more answers to the question than one? Well, obviously there can’t be. We cannot be both “only electrical impulses” and “spirits”. And what about the cruelty of the thinking of some of us. All of us are cruel more or less, but the others seem to take it to the limit, to the extent that nobody matters if he or she doesn’t compliment ones own existance. Some of us are selfish to the bone, but yet they seem to have it all figured out, so is it the final conclution, selfishness? I have to doubt it. But then where is the limit? When are you selfish ENOUGH but not TOO selfish? I would go to the area of friends and family. I would do a lot for them, and family meaning my own children and husband (which I’m yet to find), not my mother and father etc. In my opinion parents ow their kids not the other way around. Other than that… If someone, known to you or a sranger really needs your help then of course you should be there for them. But what about friends then? Do I have the right to be hurt if a friend needs me to pick up his/her mail or somehting? I don’t think so, but some of us seem to think that. But then what is considered friend? I too feel irritated if someone I have no friendly feelings for consider them eligable for my assistance. Ok, I may have an access to a car, but that doesn’t mean I’m always gonna drive all the people I know where ever they want and when ever they want. Not even if I owned the car. Do you think I’m unreasonable? But then if I knew there wasn’t much of a choise for this same person to find someone to help his/her pet but me, I would help him/her the best I could, as I would know he/she really needs me, and doesn’t choose me just because I’m the easiest answer.
And what about morality then? And mainly concerning sex. Some of us seem to have a real problem with sexulity. To the way or the other. Some of us seem not to want to have much do with it, while some of us, would do just about anything to have more experiences. Some of us think sexuality and hate are the only things that keep the humanity moving. Cannot tell you if I agree, as I would ad love to the content. Some might say love belongs to sexuality, but I don’t think so, I saparate them as easily as I peel a banana. So where is the limit to that then? And is there a rule that can be drawn to tell what I can do and what I cannot do? I don’t think there is. I believe that if one feels ok about starting as a pornmodel, she/he is allowed to do so. But only if she/he feels ok about it. And then what is the coal of Okayness? Should we all aim at being Ok with being filmed while having sex with a stranger? Or should we aim at not being okay with it? Is it the same thing as being okay with crime? Oh, my head is about to burst. I need a break.
I honestly think so. I am perfect. It doesn’t mean all people should be like me in order to become perfect, as I would then consider them fakes, so if you want to please me, don’t copy me. If you don’t want to please me, it most likely pleases me. Hah. You’re in a dead end now.
Ok, I love talking about stupid people. In my opinion they are here just to amuse me and my perfect friends. And what would we be without stupid people? The answer: ORDINARY PEOPLE! How would I hate that. So this is a thank you to the stupid people, for making us able to be so amazing.
Being perfect isn’t as easy as you would assume. First problem comes with men: you have hard time finding a man who can live up to your standards. And when you do find one, he is just as perfect as you are, and has his own set of standards. Perfect men have always good taste in women.
The second problem comes with having fun. It usually is disturbed by stupid people, though they often save the ruined night too. Having to look people with no sense of style all night is a drag. And in a small town like ours we don’t have a lot to choose from, so we have to go with what we’ve got: the most popular place in town… Since we don’t have clubs like 54 around… Someday I will establish one though. When I’m rich and famous.
The 3rd problem comes with perfectionism. As you are perfect you’re bound to be a perfectionist. Everything you do must be done right, if not, it’s better not to do it at all. This means terrible apartments when you don’t have the money, millions that is, to spend on the decorations, so you rather leave it undone. Everything involving you must be done right as well. This leads to the situation that you want to make the hobby associations web-site, the members newsletter, the shows etc. on your own so that you’ll know it’ll be done right. This leads to fatique in the end…
This was the introduction. In time you’ll find out more about this stuff, unless you’re perfect yourself and know all this already.
